Are you looking for a great way to bond with friends? Are you looking for a source of high-octane action mixed with mind-blowing drama? Are you looking to make a little money in the process? Well, look no further my friends. I cordially present to you all: The Bachelor Fantasy League!
Now that you have stopped laughing at my insanity, let me explain to you why this is the greatest thing in the history of mankind. First off, The Bachelor is one of the more celebrated reality shows America has to offer. I can recall fond memories of watching it with my mom when I was seven (I really just watched so I could stay up past my allotted bedtime). Secondly, the intensity is very real and apparent throughout the viewing of the show. There are often times when my roommates and I will be screaming at what had just transpired in front of our eyes. There have been instances of victory dances, a series of loud, random belches, and of course the occasional spell of uncontrollable laughter. Thirdly, my roommates and I now share a bond that we previously did not have. We now look forward to Monday nights crowding around our little dorm room wondering what is going to happen next (even though they all now I am going to win each week).
So what are the rules to this fine game do you ask?
The Draft Process
When there were 14 bachelorettes left to be had, my three roommates and I held a draft to construct our teams. We used the bachelorette bio page which could be found on ABC.com to help us with our selections. The draft order was determined by a tournament style coin flip battle (too much to explain, trust me). The draft was snake style, meaning that the person that picked last when then get to go again (1,2,3,4 and then 4,3,2,1 and so on…). What is cool about this is that the people who went in the first round have all been terrible for the most part. Thus enhancing the unpredictability.
It should also be noted that we each put 5 dollars in at the beginning to create an incentive for achieving fantasy Bachelor dominance.
At the end of the draft, this is what we were left with:
This is currently what our board has turned into:
Let the record show that I have a girl named Kat on my team… Hence the team name. Get your mind out of the gutter people.
The Scoring System
*Keep in mind that some of these are Juan Pablo specific
Winning the final rose – 50
Making out on a date – 10 (later changed to 5 after it became the norm)
Kissing Juan Pablo (in the early stages) – 5
Telling Juan Pablo you love him – 20 (first time only)
Fighting with another contestant verbally – 10, Physically (meaning a some sort of slap or hair pull is involved) – 20
Consoling another contestant – 5
Getting absolutely trashed (intoxicated) – 15
Mentioning your child to gain an advantage – 5
Causing Juan Pablo to become erect – 25 (we have been unable to judge this one sadly… Camera doesn’t get close enough)
Calling Juan Pablo a pet name – 5
Speaking any Spanish – 5 A fluent phrase – 10
Getting Juan Pablo to question your potential as a parent – 20
Nudity – 25
Using your profession as an advantage- 15 (first time only)
Making out in a helicopter – 20
Crying on Juan Pablo’s shoulder – 10
Dancing with Juan Pablo – 5 Salsa dancing – 10
Saying an expletive after you have failed to receive a rose – 15
Mentioning Juan Pablo’s body and then blushing out of embarrassment – 5
Getting Juan Pablo to call you beautiful – 10
Obtain a 1 on 1 date – 10
Receiving a rose on a group date – 5
Receiving the first rose at the rose ceremony – 5
Being the girl everyone hates – 15
Trash Talking (usually this involves any memorable one-liner) – 5
Making it to the Hometown Dates – 10
Weekly MVP – 5
Finally, each of us have a little quirk that we are not allowed to do while we are watching or else everyone’s team gets 5 points. For instance, mine is saying any sarcastic remark towards Chris Harrison. This has been quite the struggle for me thus far. Chris has notoriously been known for getting overly excited or saying things in a comedic manner at all times. At least in my eyes. Luckily for me, Chris and Juan Pablo do not seem to get along too well, meaning Chris doesn’t have a lot of airtime this season. I still have to deal with his constant “COMING UP” or “NEXT WEEK ON, THE BACHELOR” exasperations before every commercial break. Those always tend to get me.
I’m going to give you a minute a digest all of that…
(Waiting)
(Still waiting)
You good?
My roommates and I brainstormed that entire list in probably 20 minutes or so, so I’m sure some of you out there can critique it or even add to it. There are tons of discretion calls and majority rulings that take place throughout an episode, so you must prepare to adjust on the fly.
Overall, I believe that this is the future of television. My roommates and I are currently conversing on a new Amazing Race fantasy league that we are going to start this upcoming Sunday. Just think about the unlimited possibilities. Big Brother, The Real World, Survivor, The Kardashians. All of these shows are begging to be turned into a fantasy league by me. Until then, I will enjoy my euphoric rise to Bachelor Fantasy League superstardom.
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